i come here when i need to leave behind parts of my soul that i can no longer carry for fear of it infecting the rest with either unrealistic joy or too realistic pain.

today i think i must leave behind enough for my pacemaker (for it can no longer be called a heart) to float aimless and directionlessly, shedding itself until nonexistence, like a carefully scrunched up scrap of paper in a hurricane of knives.